BLOG - Life has Ups & Downs – How to Find Contentment in the Tide
Life has ups and downs - How to find contentment in the tide
Do you experience times in life when you feel pretty good? Moving along, setting goals – then, for whatever reason, your best laid plans don’t work out… and a nice weighty doldrum or funk sets in?
It’s easy to feel frustration, even resistance, when that happens.
After all who wants to be in one of life’s ‘downs’?
That happened to me recently. When things didn’t go the way I wanted, I was ready to go into self-criticism mode. A mode that can often keep me stuck.
But this time, an article I was reading about self-criticism versus self-compassion caught my eye and reminded me of something. The article was about a study that suggested how compassion has a way of keeping neurological pathways in the brain open for continued movement toward goals. Whereas self-criticism shuts them down.
No big surprise there I guess.
But that’s not always easy to do. So it got me thinking… what are some ways to access self-compassion, to soften our perspective on the funk we might be in?
And I remembered.
I remembered an image that, time and again, has become a touchpoint for me. One that brings me back from criticism or resistance and enables me to keep moving.
It’s the concept of Ebb and Flow.
My relationship to that pattern of the universe, my trust in the rhythm of how life unavoidably operates has often become my solace, and so my resilient strength.
As life continues to insist on presenting its ups and downs, I’ve discovered that choosing to not resist where I am in the tide, allows for compelling movement. And that movement gives me the freedom and power to create my life.
Here’s what I mean…
When I’m in a funk, depressed, overwhelmed, anxious, even just plain tired, I don’t tell myself I shouldn’t be those things or even try to hurry along my coming out of it anymore.
I’ve started just being in the Ebb for a while.
You see, it’s in my witnessing of that experience, stepping back and even honoring it, or at least just remembering to breathe, that sure enough I see the rhythm.
Time and again...Flow follows.
And oddly, it’s not a “things will get better” mantra that heartens me when I’m in a down, stuck place. Actually, it’s what comes up in reverse tide.
When I’m in a Flow and things are going great, when I’m on a roll, feeling like I’m making progress and on top of my game – the experience is the same.
I see the pattern of truth there as well… that this too, shall pass.
No amount of grasping or earnest holding on will make an 'up' feeling stay up.
And you know what – that’s ok.
I’ve really gotten that.
And getting it has made all the difference.
So, I make a point of pausing every once in a while to simply get present.
I take a breath and let go a bit.
Paths always seem to reveal themselves when I step back this way – whether it’s an action to get me going or a much needed rest to balance me out.
Ebbs follow Flows. And vice versa.
Large or very small, in every layer of living – because movement is the nature of all things.
And thank goodness for movement.
Stagnation is a breeding ground for all kinds of dis-health.
So therein lies my solace. Trusting in movement.
Knowing and being ok with the gentle truth that nothing lasts is surprisingly freeing.
It’s an empowering frame of reference from which to practice letting things roll off your back.
Now don’t get me wrong.
In some of my bigger Ebbs, it’s all I can do to remember to breathe through it.
But now, I’ve come to viscerally trust that there IS a ‘through it.’
And having that trust opens a space for me.
A space that fills with gratitude and yes, compassion.
Gratitude and compassion on such a simultaneously basic, and bigger-than-myself level buoys my spirit with contentment – regardless of what the next tide brings in.
The next time you’re feeling stuck in a down space or resisting a swing away from an 'up', I invite you to pause for a moment to simply notice where you are. Let yourself sway in the rhythm of your Ebbs and Flows. And perhaps find yourself in a dance with contentment that creates a life you love.
If you found this helpful and would like to share your thoughts - or if you’d love some daily inspiration and motivation for your wellness, self-care, and empowered living - I invite you to come join our private Living from Center Community Facebook group. I'd love to connect with you there.